{"id":876,"date":"2019-08-22T22:41:27","date_gmt":"2019-08-22T21:41:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grahamwho.com\/grahamwrites\/?p=876"},"modified":"2024-10-18T18:19:18","modified_gmt":"2024-10-18T17:19:18","slug":"flash-fiction-the-walking-dead-of-the-rings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/grahamwho.com\/grahamwrites\/2019\/08\/22\/flash-fiction-the-walking-dead-of-the-rings\/","title":{"rendered":"The Walking Dead of the Rings"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n

\"\"
“I fucking hate Thursday mornings.”
Philip looked up from his phone in the back seat of the cab. \u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d They had come twelve miles from his house and these were the first words the taxi driver had uttered. He knew it was too good to be true, having a driver take him all the way to the office without any attempts at inane banter. And now, with less than half a mile to go, this fella has to open his cakehole.
\u201cI said I hate Thursday mornings.\u201d
Against his better judgement, Philip heard himself taking the bait. \u201cOh yeah? Why\u2019s that?\u201d
\u201cThe Walking Dead.\u201d
\u201cLost interest after Season 2, mate.\u201d
\u201cNot the TV show,\u201d said the driver. \u201cThe bleedin\u2019 junkies. Look at the state of them.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n


Philip pocketed his phone and leaned forward, perching himself in the gap between the driver and passenger seat. They were in slow-moving traffic on the quay along the River Liffey in Dublin city. While most of the pedestrians were waiting for the traffic lights to give them permission to cross the street, a small group of stick-thin people in tracksuits, clutching plastic carrier bags and Costa coffee cups, were shuffling out in front of speeding bicycles in a world of their own, oblivious to any potential dangers.
\u201cThe post office on the corner here,\u201d the driver said. \u201cEvery Thursday morning. They all come down to pick up their dole, don\u2019t they? Won\u2019t miss that, even the ones who can barely walk.\u201d He laughed. \u201cLike Gandalf there.\u201d
The driver lowered the window. As the herd filed past, they spoke to one another as if they weren\u2019t talking to each other at all, broadcasting to anyone who could hear their signal with a monotonous drawl that was as sluggish as their gait. At the head of the posse was a man with a crutch. While he had a limp, he wasn\u2019t using the aid to help him walk, he was holding it an inch or two above the ground. \u201cLook at him. Holding it out like a metal detector. Maybe that\u2019s it; it\u2019s leading him to the post office. Christ knows he barely has any idea what day of the week it is, let alone where he is.\u201d
\u201cMaybe the crutch gives him his power,\u201d said Philip.
\u201cThat\u2019s it, that\u2019s it,\u201d said the driver. \u201cSome Lord of the Flies shit. He who wields the crutch is the leader.\u201d
\u201cLeading his tribe.\u201d
\u201cYeah, parting the morning rush hour like the fucking Red Sea.\u201d
\u201cMoses on methadone,\u201d said Philip, regretting at once throwing petrol on the driver’s fire.
\u201cThat\u2019s a good one, I like that. He\u2019s going to come out now with his cash as soon as the post office opens and use it to buy some tablets, only they won\u2019t be the kind you etch commandments into. Not stone tablets. Tablets to get stoned.\u201d
This guy was on a roll now.
\u201cDid you hear about the Olympics when they had them in Rio there a few years back?\u201d Change of subject. Thank fuck. \u201cThey had these task forces that went around cleaning up the streets before all the dignitaries, the athletes, or the TV cameras rolled in. Well, when I say task force<\/em>, I mean death squad<\/em>. Cleansing the streets of its scum.\u201d
\u201cYou mean homeless people?\u201d
\u201cHomeless, junkies, they\u2019re all one and the same to me.\u201d
Philip prayed for the lights to change.
\u201cWhen I\u2019m in power\u2026\u201d
Oh, Christ.
\u201cI\u2019d napalm this place every week at this time. You know, with them all gathered in the one place. Like in Gremlins, you know, when they have them all shacked up in the cinema and they try to burn them.\u201d
\u201cGreat reference,\u201d said Philip, noting the amount on the meter and throwing some cash on to the passenger seat. \u201cYou know what, I\u2019ll walk from here. Think, next week, I might try the bus.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Photo by Victor Xok on Unsplash<\/em><\/p>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“I fucking hate Thursday mornings.”Philip looked up from his phone in the back seat of the cab. \u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d They had come twelve miles from his house and these were the first words the taxi driver had uttered. He knew it was too good to be true, having a driver take him all the way […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-876","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-doodles","category-flash-fiction"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/grahamwho.com\/grahamwrites\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/876","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/grahamwho.com\/grahamwrites\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/grahamwho.com\/grahamwrites\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/grahamwho.com\/grahamwrites\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/grahamwho.com\/grahamwrites\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=876"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"http:\/\/grahamwho.com\/grahamwrites\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/876\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1448,"href":"http:\/\/grahamwho.com\/grahamwrites\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/876\/revisions\/1448"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/grahamwho.com\/grahamwrites\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=876"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/grahamwho.com\/grahamwrites\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=876"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/grahamwho.com\/grahamwrites\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=876"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}